Yearning to be Received
19 Mar 2011 2 Comments
Today I acknowledged to myself that the ache I feel in my chest is a yearning for my giving to be received.
There is a passion inside of me that is burning to be expressed. And it’s not that I want accolades or appreciations. I just want to be heard and received. I want what I have to offer folks to land in them … and for the message to actually affect them and change them.
Yet hand in hand with this yearning is the experience that my message is not being received by many people and maybe not even wanted. Otherwise, I would not have this yearning.
And then I remembered years ago hearing a wise teacher suggest that we be the change we want to see in the world.
At the time, I wanted to be listened to. So I decided to start listening… and to really listen.
After a few years of practicing intentionally listening to others I found myself surrounded by people who listened to me… and it didn’t even matter any more.
So today I said to myself… How can I receive others? What would that look like?
I’m not sure exactly what that will look like. But I do know I feel a sense of resentment and irritation by these questions. I think this is a good indicator that they’re well worth me exploring.
May I learn to receive what others are giving.
Vulnerability on the EDGE
28 Feb 2011 Leave a Comment
by Kathryn Yarborough
I just posted on our Living on the Edge facebook page, “Today I’m starting to let people know about my How to Attract Clients webinar course… I feel out there on the edge – vulnerable, excited, hopeful, uncertain.”
I realized after posting that I really DO FEEL VULNERABLE.
I normally just ignore this feeling and plod ahead – sending out emails and posting things online with complete disregard to the part of me that feels like, “Oh S—! What am I doing? I want to run back and hide in the cave.”
Then I thought, I have this forum… this place to acknowledge these feelings publicly… why not share them because I know I’m not alone and others feel this way, too, sometimes.
On the other hand, I also feel excited and hopeful. I’m looking forward to connecting with new clients who want to attract clients and excited about the opportunity to do all I can to support them on their journey.
Life on the edge feels good. I can handle a little vulnerability. What the heck – life is uncertain after all.
Click here for information about the How to Attract Clients FREE webinar.
Learning from Experience
20 Feb 2011 Leave a Comment
Over the last few months I’ve had lots of new experiences like… launching an e-course, hosting a blog talk radio, and doing webinars.
Some of them were scary, but I get through them – one baby step at a time.
Today I feel like, maybe, just maybe…
…I’ve really learned some stuff – both over the past few months and over the last fifteen years of my life.
Today, I actually feel both confident of my skills and ready to be of service. And I know that the way I’ve gotten here, is one little step at a time. Baby steps – like Andrea wrote about in one of her last blogs.
On March 9, I’m going to be offering a free introductory How to Attract Clients webinar and starting a 12 week How to Attract Clients webinar course on March 16. So… I have lots of little details I need to do to get ready for it like…
… write the content for the webpage… set up the page. Get the code for the Buy Now button… create an affiliate information page… contact potential sponsors…
Well, I’m sure you get the picture.
But I’m reminding myself as I write this blog that every moment there is just one thing to do – one baby step. Right now it’s write this blog. Next it will be boil water for spaghetti. Then it will be chop vegetables for stir fry.
Life is just one baby step after the other… and there is nothing we can do but what we’re doing right now.
I don’t know if I’ll get everything done that I need to get done to market my new webinar, but I do know that I trust the baby steps.
Quiet the Mind…take baby steps
12 Feb 2011 1 Comment
in Andrea Hylen, Uncategorized Tags: Andrea Hylen, awakening, Grief, inspiration, Jo Dunning, Living on the Edge, Open to Inspiration, spirituality, Stuart Mooney, transformation
Stuart Mooney, a scientist and a Buddhist wrote on his blog that the great awakening has arrived. Between Feb 11, 2011 and Oct 28, 2011, we will all wake up!
I have been waiting all of my life for this moment in time. All over the planet there is an awakening and an inner shift that is calling us to move from the mind to the heart. To move from a linear thinking to a wisdom spoken by and through the heart. I feel like finally I can be a round peg and I don’t have to fit into a square hole. I can be myself and allow other people to be themselves.
In this time of awakening we are all reminded to quiet the mind, listen for our inner wisdom, and take action in baby steps. It can be exciting and scary bringing waves of grief, as we let go. There can be discomfort as things are always shifting. I feel this way every day, do you?
I listened to Jo Dunning, a healer, last night as she talked about the shift that is happening. She reminded us to quiet the mind and cultivate gratitude and trust. For example, An event has already happened. Now how do we respond.
Here are some quotes from the interview:
We very seldom get the big picture. We usually get the next baby step and then the next baby step. Occasionally, we may think we have the next picture and we find ourselves moving towards it, only to find it was just the way to get us moving so something else could be the opportunity for us. Tune into the guidance and then take action on this deep knowing.
It takes tremendous courage to be on a spiritual path. You can do it! Quiet the mind…take baby steps.
Face to Face with Eviction
02 Feb 2011 17 Comments
in Andrea Hylen Tags: Andrea Hylen, California, Eviction, Grief, Living on the Edge, Open to Inspiration, transformation
By Andrea Hylen
Living on the Edge and facing eviction. Before going to the courthouse and the plaintiff’s lawyer with the paperwork I am required to fill out today, I took a shower. My question for the last few days has been, what does my soul want to learn? Why is this happening? What can I experience in this moment?
Before I share the details of the story, let me fill you in on something. I have been hired to do work right now. But the nature of the work I do as a conscious business owner and Minister means that I will not have the money in my hand until April or May. I also have a non-profit organization forming and I am waiting for the state of California to send back approval of The Articles of Incorporation.
I am writing this blog because I had an inner calling to write it and to tell the truth in the moment.
Back to the story: In the shower this morning, I asked the questions and I reflected with hot water pouring down on me.
Question: What does my soul want me to experience?
First Answer: Vulnerability in the moment. Best selling author, Neale Donald Walsch and Melody Beattie both tell how they were homeless, out of money, no food when they were writing their best selling books. They told us about that afterwards. We don’t really have the picture of someone who is powerful, inspiring, and generous and at the same time they are telling us they are in an eviction process. “We” don’t talk about those things while they are happening. Don’t let anyone know that you are holding two energies at the same time: A feeling of failure and despair and a belief in infinite possibilities and hope for the future.
Second Answer: You have to write about it publicly. This is one of the moments of living on the edge and being real with everything that is happening to you. As I thought about that, the tears came. Big tears dropping from my eyes, gasping for breath in between the gut wrenching emotion. The truth is, if I lived alone, I would pack up my car and go hang out on a friend’s couch for the next few months. I would find a wireless source to stay connected and keep doing what I am doing; creating a non-profit to help people find their voice, facilitating peace ministers, counseling people on grief transformation and social media and I believe I am in the right place doing and being the work I am called to do. I can see the doors opening and I am getting closer to an ongoing flow of income again.
The tears were in anticipation of people feeling sorry for me. The tears were in anticipation of my family and friends being embarrassed. And the biggest tears of all were for my daughter, Hannah who just turned 18 on Jan 30 and for the first time since her Dad died 5 1/2 years ago is beginning to feel safe and healed and excited about the future. Hannah’s blog: http://hannahhylen.blogspot.com/2010/12/goals-for-2011.html
As I was writing this, a friend called me. And as I shared what I was writing, another wave of tears came. A deeper place inside of me that is tied up with my children and with nurturing my own inner child. I have worked a variety of jobs over the years so that I could have the freedom to create rich environments of learning and support for my children. My greatest desire for them was to know that they have an inner guidance system leading them to soul experiences and to let go of doing things they think they “should” do, to discover their own voice and to dance that dance of life. To feel everything and to break through living someone else’s life. What would my life be like now, if I had been encouraged to follow my inner guidance vs doing the right thing? This is the edge. No one really considered that when I was growing up and now I heal the wounds of trying to fit a round peg into a square hole.
Feelings as I went into the courthouse to get the paperwork yesterday. Shame, humiliation, “feelings of being better than”, judgments about the type of person who gets evicted. Sadness over the loss of $150,000+ when the man who bought my husband’s business went bankrupt in 2009. I would have had three more years to build and expand my business. Curiosity about what I was experiencing. Opening myself to the experience so I could share it some day.
For instance…a person who can’t pay their rent, then the owner won’t let them pay some of it, then they add $500 and additional court fees and you have to hire a lawyer. How the heck is anyone supposed to get their life back together? And in my situation, it is Avalon Bay Communities, a national organization where there is no one to talk to about anything or to show them that you have been hired and are waiting for money. NO. They just throw you into the freakin’ court system! And the free legal system meant driving 30 minutes, and hope to be one of the 15 people in line for free advice which didn’t happen.
On my way to the courthouse now. Living on the Edge…
Honoring and Following the Energy
27 Jan 2011 1 Comment
in Andrea Hylen Tags: Andrea Hylen, awakening, Conscious business, inspiration, intuition, Living on the Edge, Open to Inspiration, spirituality, transformation
By Andrea Hylen
I am out of my comfort zone today. That is a big part of living on the edge, at least in my world. Listening to my intuition and guidance and making choices that stretch me in new ways. Like loving people and places and knowing in my heart I have to let go and move on to another direction.
I joined an incredible program in April 2010. I had actually taken a variety of classes with the organization and still feel a deep heart connection with the teachers here. For the last two years, they have been a part of my life and I am grateful. Some of the great breakthroughs and leaps in my life were supported, nurtured and birthed while I grew and learned about myself. I healed a few, deep wounds in here. It has been a very expansive, loving space.
Here’s the thing that makes this so uncomfortable. There is nothing wrong with the program and nothing bad has happened. I continue to learn something whenever I listen to the program talks and practice with the exercises, but my intuition is telling me to let go and move on. It is telling me that when I let go, new doors will open. And I am not talking about the shiny, new doors that distract us and make us think there is a magic wand so we let go of something that is making us uncomfortable. I have stayed in discomfort when my old patterns have emerged and I have grown. This is different.
Take today for instance. I woke up really excited about my non-profit organization. I had some ideas for creating the website, filling out the paperwork, creating a presentation. But, as I started to look at my schedule for the day, my energy started to drop. Even anticipating the day and the tele-class/workshop, I felt sad. I was noticing the energy and once again I reflected on the message.
As I look at the scales in my left and right hands, examining the pros and cons of staying in this program on the one hand or focusing on the non-profit creation and several other work things I have happening, the work wins. Looking at the hand with the program, my head hurts, my energy drops, I feel sad. When I look at the projects I have been working on and excited about and all of the places I can serve, there is an aliveness.
And let me say it again, it is not that there is anything wrong. It would be so easy to make this decision if there was something wrong!
This is living on the edge. Connecting with the energy. Giving myself time to reflect and feel and think. I had my answer two weeks ago. But, this was a big decision. It required conversations with several trusted friends who believe in living on the edge. It required meditation and walks in the park. It deserved careful thought.
I heard the words today. Are you going all the way? Are you living your life, following your inner guidance and focusing on where you can serve?
I have to go for it. I have to leave so that I have the energy and space to manifest and serve in the way I am called to serve.
A year ago, I left a community I had been living in for over twenty years. I love the people there but I felt a deep calling to listen to my voice and spend a year in solitude. Today I leave a program with a community I love to follow my inner voice once again.
In gratitude, I say so long, may we meet again along the journey of life. And as I write this good-bye, my energy lifts to new heights. Another clue.
Collaboration Opens My Heart
22 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Collaboration, Kathryn Yarborough, Living on the Edge
Image by qthomasbower via Flickr
Collaboration seems to be a theme in my life these days, especially this week.
I had two different meetings this week focused on collaboration.
One meeting was with my Living on the Edge partner, Andrea Hylen. She and I are talking about a way we might collaborate with a webinar I want to offer.
The other meeting was with graphic designer Karen Brand and social media expert Amber Scott. We talked about the possibility of co-creating workshops together.
Then… this morning, I opened an email from the American Dance Therapy Association this morning (I am a dance/movement therapist) that said:
“Collaboration is a process where two or more people or organizations work together to realize common goals, share knowledge, learn from and about one another and potentially build consensus while developing mutual respect and trust.”
What I’m experiencing…
My heart is opening. Instead of thinking only about me… and how providing these services would be a way for me to make money or attract clients… I’m thinking about my fellow collaboraters and asking myself how this might help them.
It feels good to care about others.
